Monday. December. Comfy Time.

Hey guys, I'm REALLY cozy and REALLY into block printed indian cotton coordinating sheet and comforter sets apparently!

P.S. I let my birthday slide by this year because it was kind of a bummer day. No one bought me gifts AND I had to go to the vet because my ear was kind of gross & itchy AND was informed that I've gained over a pound since my last visit, and I was all "Whatever Mr. Vet you're kind of ugly, and honestly one of the most boring people I ever met". That made me feel better.

P.P.S. I'm seven, but damn do I look good!

Double Vision!

This made it pretty fucking easy for me to come up with a Halloween costume.

I'm Ghenhis Khan, Marthas Stewart's dumb spoiled dog.
Thanks Martha!

The Subtle Nuances of Motion and Emotion

Gif animator

Wha? Huh? Oh...guess it's nothing. Repeat that whole scenario about 1000 times and that was pretty much my entire day. Kind of boring.

If only I could get an editor on the phone...

The pitch would go something along these lines:

Missy, a small town Pomeranian, receives news of an inheritance. Her quiet uneventful life is about to be turned upside down. Missy must travel to a remote island to claim her share of a vast fortune.

While there, she finds herself the victim of conspiracy and deceit. With the help of her friend, Missy struggles to unlock the secrets of her childhood.

Although her life is in peril as her past is revealed, Missy finds herself the arms of a handsome stranger who also happens to be a renowned groomer.


100% guarantee for Oprah's book club and #1 best seller on New York Times fiction list! Fo' shiz.

Straight chillin' part duex

Various angles of my doing maximum relaxamum.
Relaxamum is a new word I came up with....my brain has been working overtime!

straight chillin'

My Blue Heaven

Not only is that a FANTASTIC movie starring Steve Martin, but it is also what I was in!

I learned this weekend that blueberry picking is not just for migrant workers, it's for anyone who enjoys eating anything that has fallen off of a bush and onto the ground, in other words FREE FOOD! Look at my expression in both these photos..I'm seriously into blueberries.

P.S. This will be my last faux polaroid app picture on this blog, I swear! But god damn does that app make me and everything else around me look good. Except for when I look drunk or retarded or both as I do in the second picture.

Summer 2010

I'm so so so tired and sad. Life sucks.

Just kidding! I'm just a little hot. However nothing can keep me off this cozy rug o'mine.

Wish I was camping!

I like camping, but I love glam-ping! Do you know what that is? Well it's glamourous camping, examples can be found here http://goglamping.net/. So I may reside in Portland, Oregon where roughing it is the norm, but camping and luxury is way cooler people. Really it is.

Spooky & Cute!

Alter egos and such

Everybody has an image in their mind of what they look like to the rest of the world, right?

Well here I am! (in my mind)

June 19th 2010

I used to have this theory that only really boring people cared about the weather BUT, this is fucking redunkulous. I mean here it is JUNE and no sun. Lame! I went to the beach anyway, had a good time. Chased a ball, scrawled my name in the sand, met this guy named Pepe. Fuck you sun, who needs you anyway.

Oh why this is sort of interesting, isn't it?

J.Crew likes pomeranians.
Well then I guess I like you too J.Crew.

I HEART ALICE COOPER & THE BEACH

Probably going to have nightmares about this

Are you fucking kidding me? These dogs are HIDEOUS!

"Okay, Maria -- same time tomorrow? It's a date!"

Apparently Martha Stewart has new dog named Ghenghis Khan, a chow, which sometimes ignorant people think I am a miniature version of.

Well, Mister G.K. has some pics up on Martha's little website with captions, not quite a blog but sort of. Anyway, here is a picture from said website.... soooo wrong. I mean really, if I had a live-in Mexican groomer I would at least muster up a tiny smile for a god-damn photo op. I bet that dog is such an asshole.

IS IT SUMMER (or at least Spring) YET?

I have kind of been wishing this is what more of my days looked like. I mean it is almost MAY!

Come on mother nature don't let me down.

In other news, I need a haircut. My hair is looking pretty shabby and not in a hipster, bed-head, wind swept way. It's more shabby as in a homeless dog with mange kind of way. Uncool, man.

MUST HAVE! MUST HAVE! MUST HAVE!

The Pet High Chair - Hammacher Schlemmer

Jesus Christo! I NEED this.

Camouflage

Awesome, my fur matches these new floors that were just put in where I live. Now I got to watch out people aren't going to step on me. I have been known to get a little "underfoot" when cooking is going on in the kitchen...Man, I can't wait for the home cooking to start again.

SWF seeks companionship.

Sometimes I like to get all creepy and look on craigslist for potential friends..I know, I know it's not the safest way to go about making buddies, but it is rewarding and amusing when I find shit like this! I would pay at least ten bucks to meet this little dog, she sounds like a total winner.

YOU NEED THESE

Imagine yourself at the Farmer's Market this summer lovingly placing your fiddlehead ferns, rainbow chard, kohlrabi, heirloom melons and organic gooseberries in these awesome totes!

email me for pre-orders.

And the Oscar goes to...

What a group of phony Hollywood a-holes, with all their diamonds, designer gowns and money.

Please someone tell me... where do I sign up to become one of them?

And if you wanted to know who I am wearing, it's Armani Prive. That bitch J.Lo showed up in the same dress, I just knew Giorgio was going to fuck me on this one.

Jealousy gets the best of me.

If my parents loved me enough they would have done this years ago. I suppose since neither of them will have my image tattooed on their person, I will suffer with the usual insecurities, fear of abandonment and failure like the rest of the world...everyone feels those things right? right? back me up here people, I'm feeling vulnerable.

*Image via M. Maguire, thanks dude!

A letter from a fan

I found this gem in my inbox whilst doing some spring cleaning..It was a response to an email I had sent Spudgy which was just a cordial hello saying "Hi I'm Missy, I am also a pomeranian who uses the internet." This is what I got back....

Missy,
You are so gorgeous!
Love your blog..
Pom in a bag...so adorable..
Thanks for sending me this link to Missy's blog..
Spudgy was on the Today Show last week and will be featured on Animal Planet this Spring along with Arsenio Hall show later in the year..
You need to get yourself on YouTube..
All the best!
xo,
Spudgy

www.Spudgy.com

ARSENIO HALL?!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA..Now that is what I call hilarious.

Hallmark Holiday

I don't always say the words "I love you"

I don't always give you a hug when you need one

It is hard for me to express in words how beautiful you are

Today is the day where I can reassure you

that my heart belongs to you and I love you.

I truly love you.

If I were a normal dog I would totally think something such as the above but being who I am...

FUCK that bullshit, where's the freakin' chocolates & roses?

Happy Valentine's Day people!

THE DOGFATHER PART 1, 1972

"Never let anyone outside the family know what you're thinking." - Don Corleone

A picture is worth a thousand words

What the fuck do you want from me now?.............

Oh, I'm sorry if you were offended by my use of the F-word, what I meant to say was,

Hi! I'm a friendly dog who just loves to cuddle! Come on let's cuddle, really I won't mind.

Winter blues

Ugh, it's raining. Ugh, I'm stuck inside. Ugh, I feel fat. The last "ugh" is a joke, I'm not all caught up on numbers and shit.

Happy New Year

Hey 2010, bring it. I'm ready for all you got.